


Cake Walk

by RedTeamShark



Category: RWBY
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Custom Cake Shenanigans, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Innuendo, Sex Mentions, vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 22:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12969594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTeamShark/pseuds/RedTeamShark
Summary: Juniper Cakery Bakery sees its fair share of oddities, but nothing quite tops the cake-based messages that a pair of their regular customers request.--Alternatively, Team JNPR runs a bakery and Yang and Mercury are both sort of disasters.





	Cake Walk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DesdemonaWrath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesdemonaWrath/gifts).



> For one of my favorite enablers. <3

The sound of the bell over the door summoned Nora away from her frosting mixture, one last quick lick of her tasting spoon before she tossed it into the sink and headed for the front counter. Jaune and Pyrrha were in the back mixing batter and Ren was focused on decorating; that left her to make frosting and watch the counter.

The woman that had come in was bent forward over the display case, looking at the more generic cake messages. ‘Happy Birthday’ with a space for a name in blue, red, yellow, pink, and green; ‘Congratulations’ with balloons, flowers, stars, and spirals; ‘Surprise!’ with similar. Those were offered both round and square, quick things for a last minute need as well as demonstrations of their abilities with decorating for more elaborate projects. She leaned on the counter as the customer stood, grinning. “What can I do for you?”

“Do you do, like, plain cakes with just a custom message on them?” The blonde woman asked, stepping up to the counter.

“Sure do. What’d you have in mind?” Something like that, if it really was just text, she could probably whip together before the end of the day.

“Well, I was thinking a round cake, but square might fit better… Doesn’t matter that much? Anyways, I want it to say ‘Sorry for what I said during Mario Kart’ on it. Can you do that?”

Nora blinked slowly, trying to process the request. “You want… a cake that says ‘Sorry for what I said during Mario Kart’?” She repeated, her composure coming back at the blonde’s eager nod. Okay, she wasn’t losing her mind. “Uh… Yeah. We can. When did you want it?”

“Honestly? Whenever you can make it. It’s kind of… always a relevant sentiment since Mario Kart came out on the Switch.”

Nora grabbed one of the sample sheets, picking a rounded, eight inch cake. She wrote out the message in pencil, turning it to her customer with a smile. “Looks like it’ll fit well on here. I’ll just have you okay the design if that looks right and then fill out the information on the bottom. Did you want to sample any of the cakes or frostings before picking a flavor?”

“Oh, no thanks. I know what flavors we like.” She filled out the form quickly, signing and dating the order. “Do I pay now?”

“Usually we’d take a deposit, yeah, but honestly, this is going to be fast enough and simple enough that we won’t need it. You can pay when you come pick it up. We’ll call you when it’s ready, should be end of day today or tomorrow.” She punched the order into the system, glancing at the prompted total. “It’ll come to about fifteen dollars, though. Just to make sure that’s okay before I put the order in.”

“That’s fine. Thanks, I’ll look forward to it.”

There had been weirder requests in the past. There would be weirder requests in the future (the nearer future than Nora realized, at that). By the next day, when the cake was picked up and paid for, it was out of her mind.

* * *

Jaune looked up from wiping down the display case as the bell rang, his eyes darting to the clock on instinct. “Are you picking up?” Of course not, the day’s pick-ups were all gone. Which meant either someone that wanted to start the custom order process ten minutes before close (bad), or someone that wanted a cake Right Now (infinitely worse).

“No, I, uh… Someone suggested that I come here to get a cake. I don’t need anything fancy, but the sooner the better.” The guy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing towards the door. “I know you’re almost closed.”

“What’d you need? If it’s easy, we can probably get it for you tomorrow.”

“Do you do… adult cakes?”

Jaune flushed, glancing towards the back room. “Um, w-well _I_ don’t but um, we do--we make those to order, it usually takes a few days minimum.”

“I don’t need anything dirty, just--listen, I need a cake that says ‘Sorry I got semen in your eye.’ And not metaphorically.”

“Oh… Oh, jeez. Yeah, hang on. Ren!” Jaune leaned towards the kitchen, waiting until their main icing writer stepped out. “Do we have anything extra in the back that isn’t decorated?”

“We have one chocolate rectangular extra from the Polendina order. Why?”

“Could you whip up some writing on it real quick? ‘Sorry I got semen in your eye’ in--what color do you want?” Jaune asked, turning back to his customer

“White is fine.”

Ren raised an eyebrow, nodding slowly. “I can do that. Any other design elements?”

“Not unless you’re feeling creative.”

“Maybe…”

Jaune moved to the register as Ren went back to the back, ringing up the silver-haired man’s order. “How mad is she?”

“Well, she locked me out of the apartment…”

“Ouch.”

“...and threatened to call both the cops and her dad when I climbed in the window…”

“That’s rough.”

“When I asked what I could do to make it up for her, she said to come here and figure it out.”

“Well, we’re, uh… glad for your business. It’ll be fifteen dollars, by the way.”

The man handed over his cash, leaning on the counter and looking at the clock. “Really hope I’m not keeping you here later than you have to be.”

“Nah, you’re alright. We’ve all been in trouble like that before, so… a favor one guy to another.”

Admittedly, the cake Ren brought out looked pretty damn good despite the message on it. Rich chocolate frosting over a smooth dark chocolate cake, white icing carefully lettering out the apology. Jaune figured anyone who got a cake like that couldn’t stay mad for too long. Hopefully.

* * *

With graduation and wedding seasons over, business slowed down usually. But the end of those two meant summer ramped up, and that meant a demand for ice cream cakes. Pyrrha loaded the freezer with the blank ice cream cakes, adding pictures of various designs they could put on top of them. Customization was also an option, of course, something she made sure to center over the display.

“Ice cream cake, huh?” A voice behind her asked, thoughtful, and she turned with a smile.

“Yup. Perfect thing for a hot day. And there’s always an occasion for cake.”

“Yeah… And you offer custom designs on those, too? I bought one of your regular cakes during the spring and it was really good. Great flavor and nice lettering.” The blonde smiled, leaning over the case to look at the size options for ice cream cakes.

“Glad to have a repeat customer. We also have a design book, if you’re looking for ideas.”

“Well… I have a _theme_ in mind, I’m just not sure how to convey it…”

“I can sketch something for you, if you like? Why don’t we grab a seat and start brainstorming.”

Consultations like this were some of her favorites. From ‘my five-year-old loves sharks and Disney princesses’ to ‘my brother is getting his cat baptized,’ coming up with the perfect design to encapsulate a personality or sentiment or event was her passion. The redhead sat down across from her customer, a sketchpad on the table between them. “So, is this a special occasion or more of a message?”

“Definitely more of a message.”

“Tell me about it.” Her pencil started moving as the blonde spoke, somehow only stuttering on the paper a few times.

“Well, my boyfriend has started feeding the neighbor’s cat, who I call Satan. And today I was coming back and, uh… hit the cat with my car.” The pencil jolted. “It’s fine! Which is… kind of freaky in itself. But he saw me and now he thinks I did it on purpose because I want to kill all the joy in his life because I’m a soul-sucking harpy.” The pencil paused again, one of Pyrrha’s eyebrows raising curiously. “He’s joking. That’s… sort of our sense of humor.”

“I… See…” She definitely did not get that. “How about something like this?”

The design was simplistic in sketch mode, would be more complex on the actual order and on the cake. A cat with ears curved like devil horns, a car bearing down on it. Below that, the text ‘Sorry I Tried to Sacrifice Satan for You.’

“Oh my god. It’s perfect.”

“And you wanted that on an ice cream cake?”

“If you can, yeah. It’s fine if it takes a little while, I know it’s… weird.”

Pyrrha smiled, going to get a proper order form. “It might take a day or two, especially since I’m pretty sure everyone will want to hear the story behind it and see it when it’s done. We’ll need a deposit of half the cost today, and we’ll call you when it’s ready if everything looks good on here.”

The blonde nodded, initialing the sketch and filling out the paperwork, moving to the register to pay. “This is going to be so great. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees it.”

* * *

The guy that came in was vaguely familiar, though Ren couldn’t place him until he spoke. It all clicked into place at once, this was the guy that had ordered the ‘sorry for getting semen in your eye’ cake last spring. He stifled a laugh, nodding slowly in greeting. “How can I help you today?”

“My girlfriend loves your cakes, so I wanted to get one for our anniversary to surprise her. It’s next month, but I want to make sure it’s ready.” The silver-haired man shrugged, looking over the display.

“No problem. Early orders are definitely better.” Ren pulled over an order form, grabbing a pencil from behind his ear. “Anything special on it?”

“Just some text. ‘Thanks for tolerating me’.”

That gave him pause, eyebrows raising. “For your… anniversary?”

“Trust me, she’ll appreciate the sentiment.”

He drew up the sample and put the order in, making a note of the exact day and time of pick up. As soon as the silver-haired guy left, he went to find Jaune.

* * *

 All four of them had stories of strange customers, but those two probably topped the list. Nothing quite outdid Pyrrha’s ‘satan cat’ tale, but then again, nearly every month it seemed that one of their newfound regulars would be in for a very strange cake.

The blond came in two weeks in a row, even, first for a cake with the message ‘thanks for eating me out for an hour and a half’ on it, and then for one that said ‘sorry I put it in your butt.’ “And not metaphorically,” she specified, something jogging in Jaune’s memory at the phrase, there and gone too fast for him to pin it down.

Silver-hair came in looking frazzled on another close-to-closing night, getting lucky with an extra cake once again. This one was heart-shaped and said ‘sorry I set you on fire’ and at this point, Jaune wasn’t even close to asking questions.

The date of the anniversary cake the silver-haired customer had ordered was fast approaching, all four employees of Juniper Cakery Bakery making plans to be in the store that day. Who knew if his girlfriend would even come with him to get the cake, but on the off chance, they wanted to see this girl. There had been too much wild speculation not to take the opportunity.

“He’s here!” Nora stage-whispered to Jaune as she came in from her break, pointing out the windows. Sure enough, their silver-haired customer was in the parking lot, leaning on a car and looking around.

“Ren! Pyrrha!” Jaune called back, leaning on the counter and watching through the glass. Nora joined him, taking a seat as Ren and Pyrrha came out of the back and unabashedly stared. He was obviously waiting for someone, which meant they’d finally get to see the mysterious girlfriend who was apparently a fan of theirs.

A motorcycle rolled into the spot next to him, someone dismounting it. She pulled off her helmet and they kissed briefly, her cascading blonde hair almost covering the touch of lips on lips.

Inside the shop, four jaws simultaneously slammed into the floor.

“Oh my god,” Nora whispered as they linked hands and started to the shop.

“Oh… my… god…” Jaune repeated, slower, as the door opened.

“Oh, hello!” Pyrrha called, trying her best to seem like things were even a little normal at the moment. “Are you picking up?”

“You’re _dating_?” Nora shattered the illusion of normal.

“ _Each other_?” Jaune wasn’t helping.

“I’ll go get your cake.” Ren made a hasty retreat to the back as Mercury and Yang approached the counter.

“Happy anniversary!” Nora beamed, the smile too infectious not to relieve the awkward tension in the small shop. She waved Mercury’s hand away as he reached for his wallet. “You guys buy so much cake here and it’s your _anniversary_. I think we can pay for this one, right, Jaune?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, we can. In fact, consider it our gift to you.” Jaune agreed quickly, ringing the order through and shutting the drawer without putting any money in.

“Well, this is.... Unexpected. I guess we do get cake here a lot, but--thanks!” She smiled, squeezing her boyfriend’s hand. “We know who we’ll be sending all our friends to, huh, Merc?”

“I mean, I already do. You’re the one holding out on a small business.”

“I will fucking fight you even if it _is_ our three year anniversary.”

They took the cake home, followed out the door by stunned staring.

Ren finally broke the silence, clearing his throat. “I… did not see that coming.”

“She’s put it in his butt…” Nora stated, sounding dazed. “Accidentally.”

“He got semen in her eye,” Jaune added.

“She sacrificed Satan the cat for him,” Pyrrha said quietly.

* * *

 “Mercury, hi!” Nora grinned, waving as the silver-haired man came into the shop. “Long time no see. What can we get for you?”

“I was hoping to get a cake. Something simple, it just needs to say ‘break a leg’.”

At the display, Ren frowned, looking over to the conversation at the counter. “That’s… deceptively simplistic for you.”

“Well, it’s for Yang. She crashed her motorcycle and broke her arm a couple of months ago, and in a couple of days she’s getting her cast off and going to be able to ride again. I wanted to give her some encouragement.”

Nora’s grin widened. “You’re twisted. I like it. We can have that done for you whenever you need it.”

Regular customers were great. Regulars like Yang and Mercury, who guaranteed that things wouldn’t be dull, were better.


End file.
